mania, bipolar, polydrugged
I am so incredibly discouraged and worn out. I’m the unmedicated spouse.
My husband took his first SSRI in September 2019, two months later experienced his first manic episode, and was diagnosed bipolar 1. I told the doctor he never had that behavior and we had been married 10 years at that point. I was gaslit and he was given Depakote. He’s been on other SSRIs since then but they all resulted in hypomania or mania every fall/winter. In 2023 we decided it was time to get off the meds. His psych NP was fine with it and weaned him off the only way they know how-take the next lowest prescribed dose for 6 weeks until done. (I now know this was an improper taper.) The last thing he was to come off of was Depakote at 250mg. He decided in June 2024 that there was nowhere else to go from there and stopped taking it. A month later mania returned. He stayed that way until October 2024 when I begged him to get back on medication. (He was prescribed 3 that he’d never taken before-Vraylar, Seroquel, and Lamictal) Again, a mistake on my part but I didn’t know and thought this was unfortunately our life now.
Two months later he became catatonic his psych NP never mentioned it. I don’t know if it was the improper taper by his psych NP, him stopping the Depakote, getting back on medication, or a combination of all of it.
When he was finally diagnosed with catatonia in February 2025 he was prescribed a benzo. After months of searching I found all the info on a hyperbolic taper. He took his last dose of it 12/31/25. Now he seems to be heading towards hypomania again. The only way it would ever calm down or stop is a med change and I don’t think that’s wise at this point with all the destabilization that has occurred.
I’m just so tired of this happening. He loves being hypomanic and tries so hard to mask it but I always know. Sometimes I wonder if he will ever make it off and be the person I married. He still has 3 meds left to taper. Every single pill causes mania when withdrawing.
